5 Things That Some Women Are Secretly Capable Of… And men aren’t aware.

DISCLAIMER: I am not speaking for all women. I'm speaking for the perfectly sane, educated woman that knows what she wants. Do not apply this to any female that you can't speak highly of. Enjoy! 

Friends with benefits

A lot of men love the idea of sexing up a friend with no emotional strings attached but smart men AND women know not to get too excited about the idea because it often leads to drama and possible heartache. There’s also a big misconception that women are incapable of having such a relationship where she has zero attachment to the man. For some reason men seem to think that women cannot have sex without falling hopelessly in love with a partner. THIS IS ENTIRELY FALSE. Although women have in the past been known to WANT emotional connection attached to their sex, it is not always a necessity. Women are cold creatures. Did you know that? Not all women get butterflies and see stars in a man’s presence. I’ve known more than a few women who have said those magical words “I’d give him some. Nothing else though.”  It’s normal and usually occurs with women that really don’t have time for the relationship drama and have penis on the brain. Ever been talking to a chick that seemed totally uninterested in your goals and interests but jumps at the opportunity to bone? Yea, there’s a chance that she only wants one thing and if you’re willing to give it to her without entertaining the idea of a deeper relationship she’ll take it. Don’t try to fake it with her because she’s definitely not going to with you. If after the sex she hasn’t brought up the idea of taking it to the next level you should know that you’ve just been used. Women are capable just as much as men of detaching their brain from their vagina. Proceed with caution.

Forgiveness

The misconception that women don’t know how to forgive is one that I want to die! PEOPLE in general hold grudges. Women are of course no different but it’s no worse because of gender. Sure she may never forgive you but it’s probably because you did something unforgivable. There ARE women that are capable of moving forward and putting the past behind but only if she believes you’re sincere. If she doesn’t seem like she forgives you, you probably don’t seem sincere. Evaluate this and try again.

Option B: If she doesn’t seem to be forgiving she probably doesn’t give a damn anymore. Sometimes women lose interest and are just waiting for you to leave. Yep, that’s probably the case most of the time. 

Cooking you into submission

Don’t fight this one. You know it’s true.

Being nymphomaniacs…without being a hoe

For some reason men don’t think women like to have sex as much as men. And if they do they’re deemed hoes. This is ridiculous. A woman can love sex just as much as any man and not be a hoe, of course. It takes brains and careful planning to carry out such an act. Mainly, women must know not to tell all their business. Most rumors that get spread about promiscuous women are done so by their female associates. A hoe is only a hoe when everyone knows. This goes for men too because they gossip just a much. Mmm. When women find someone they like to have sex with, they do so and often. Sometimes there may be a few that women keep but it does not make the woman a hoe just yet. A lot of sex doesn’t make a hoe. It’s the lack of discretion, selectivity, and consideration that are the key points to Ho’ism. It’s natural to be sexual and a woman that knows not to over do and choose wisely is just that; a sexually wise woman. Grow up!

Being happy single or without YOU

You are not God’s gift to women. God did make more. Get off your nuts. I’m not saying this to man bash but there seems to be some sort of misunderstanding. All women don’t feel the need to have a man and can be content with being alone. This does not mean that they’re lonely. Everyone has options. Whether she chooses to act on them is totally up to her. Don’t think because she hasn’t mentioned anyone  that no one's tried. Women get approached by other men every other day. REMEMBER THAT! If you’re in a relationship with a girl who treats you like a king, appreciate her. She’s more than likely treating you like that to stroke your ego and can stop at any time she may feel she’s not appreciated. Don’t forget that women are perfectly capable of being happy without you and telling you NO and GOODBYE.

*Authors Note This is not to bash men. I love men and everything that comes with real men. Men: appreciate and learn from these thoughts for they came straight from women. Comments are welcome. 

Expect More of Yourself

One of the most influential books I've read recently was "The Other Wes Moore: One Name, Two Fates" by Wes Moore. It's a touching story about about two men from similar backgrounds and even the same name, and the factors that drove them to two very different fates. Both men grew up in single parent homes, struggled with school, and even lived just blocks from one another in one of Baltimore's roughest areas at one point. Wes Moore, the author, later became a combat veteran, a Rhodes Scholar, and now an associate at Citibank in NYC. The other Wes Moore is now serving life in prison.
Shortly after finishing the book, I was lucky to hear Moore talk more about his story and elaborate on his reasons behind him telling the story. Moore stated, "I wrote the book to get people to think."
Of course the stories Moore told attracted male readers but me being a female, I was attracted in another way. When the topic of fatherhood came about, of course I was all ears. However, I paid special attention to the emphasis on the two boys in the story having the same backgrounds. That same story applies to me with people as close to me as my best friend.
It got me thinking about the decisions and factors that play a part in someones fate.
Moore recalled a moment when he asked the other Wes if he thought we were products of our environment. The other Wes Moore responded, "We're products of our expectations."
I couldn't agree more, but I also think we're products of what others expect from us as well. Looking back on my old friends that I seem to have lost touch with, we were no different. We all had some of the same adversities but we also had some of the same opportunities and our decisions are what has led us astray.
I once felt guilty for leaving some people behind but I had to realize they would've been right beside me if they'd chosen to.
That's just one thing Wes Moore's book got me to think about, but it mainly made me want to take action and change as much as I can to reach out to as many kids who were like me as possible.

"Potential is universal, Opportunity is not. The difference between where we are and where we can be is extraordinarily thin."       -Wes Moore

In Search of A Father: My growth without mine.

For some time I've been contemplating my non existent relationship with my father and whether I should pursue one or not. Just a little background, I have never had a relationship with him due to his lack of presence and efforts. My mother raised me to know who he was and often let me know that he loved me, but he just hadn't grown up yet. Not excusing him, but that explanation actually got me by as a kid. However, I found what my mom said harder and harder to believe as I myself began to grow up. Her comforting words replayed over and over in my head every time I'd see a daddy and daughter holding hands or the image of a father walking his daughter down an aisle to marry. I never dared ask my mom why I couldn't have those things or if I'd ever, mainly because I knew it would be painful to answer and probably more painful for me to ask.
The lack of presence from my biological father was long ago replaced with my grandfather's. Although my view of men has struggled because of it, I worked to not let his absence determine my lifestyle or my future as a woman. I've crossed a few milestones and been happy with myself but there was always a hint of pain in my smile. There was always an elephant in the room but I dared not ask about it or say "I wish my father was here." Valentines days came and went but every time I was greeted by an admirer with candy or flowers, I imagined that my father could do the same. He never did. Not one Valentines Day or Christmas. And when Father's Day rolled around, I was unaware of the holiday and ignored any sign of it. He never shook hands with my first boyfriend or gave scowling looks to my second and third. I was not greeted or congratulated at my graduation. I was not given a proud hug when I was accepted into college. Nor was I given a speech about boys and academics as I moved into a co-ed dorm.
Through all the years and events I seemed to manage with grace. I never questioned his absence because of those words my mother told me when I was smaller, "He loves you. He just hasn't grown up yet."
A week ago, I looked at a calendar and realized my birthday was a week away. Not any birthday, my 21st. Another milestone. As I thought and planned a series of events I got an erie feeling. A feeling I've never had before but still it felt familiar. My thoughts, I'm about to be 21 and I've never heard my father wish me a happy birthday. This would make sense if he had passed when I was younger, but he is alive and well. I tried to comfort myself by replaying my mother's words in my head but it didn't work. I grew angry and then sad. With the words repeating one thing stood out to me, "He hasn't grown up yet."
"He hasn't grown up yet, but I have," I said to myself.
I've grown into a woman. I live well. I'm working to better myself everyday. I'm not the same kid. I can no longer be persuaded into believing that my father isn't around because of lack of growth.
Growth, I thought about that word long and hard. I'm no longer biting my tongue in fear of being hurt. I will dare to ask "Where have you been?" I will take a stand until I am noticed and appreciated as a daughter, his daughter. I will show the love that I've always longed for in the hopes that it's returned, and if not, I can still say that I made a grown up decision to try.
My decision was to try to contact my father in hopes of building a relationship not because I want him to wish me a happy birthday but because I want him to see my growth. Hopefully it will inspire him to grow. And instead of him being around for a milestone in my life, he can be one. I have yet to contact my father, but I plan to soon.

To Be Continued...